“Just be yourself” … Yeah right. That is the usual advice we hear when asking anyone how to flirt with a girl or what to say around women.

Well chances are when you read this that you have been yourself all your life (who else would you be?) and it hasn’t gotten you much action. Right?

I know this is how it seems but still I am going to put myself on the side of the people telling you exactly that: be yourself. Because now after several years of experience in hardcore flirting with women I know what they actually meant by it.

You know whenever I had a major breakthrough in the field of dating, whenever I felt like I had made a major step forward and a big realization around how to flirt with a girl it always came down to the realization that I don’t have to try being someone else or distorting myself, my words, my reactions because I think she might not approve of me otherwise.

And ironically the less I tried to fit the image I thought girls/women wanted to see and instead just did what the f*ck I wanted the more successful I got with ‘em.

What resulted was natural charisma.

Now the downside to this is that it only works if you aren’t an asshole. Actually it does work but not with the women you’d really want to spend your time with.

It’s actually more of a process of making attractiveness yourself and then being yourself rather then be your shy self. I’ll go as far as to say that nobody is truly shy. It’s more of an act you put up because you think that people are more disapproving than they actually are.

If you consider yourself shy just imagine the way you are around really close friends and family. That is the way you need to be around girls. Even strange ones. That is yourself – be it! And NEXT them if they don’t like it.